Personal Reflections about the 49-day Retreat by Grant Sheen

I just graduated from Stanford University.

This was the first time in my life that I stayed in the monastery as a volunteer.

I came to the DDM headquarters chan hall to support the 49-day retreat.
Here are some of my reflections:

Sharing

Today I did a lot of volunteer work and participated in the final sharing. I just stood in front of everyone and shared, haha! It was pretty cool. I shared 3 learnings I had from the perspective of someone who grew up in the West. First, letting go of expectations and outcomes. Second, the importance of compassion and helping others. Third, the joy and simplicity of being a human being practicing Chan. 

Refuge Taking on the Day of Perfection

Also, here is my reflection about my refuge taking:

The moment I decided I wanted to take refuge was when I was contemplating my life and realized how much Buddha's teachings have helped me in my life. In particular, how the teachings of loving kindness, interconnectedness, and causes and conditions lifted me out of a really challenging period of social anxiety. There's nothing more powerful than directly feeling the healing experience of inner transformation.

During the ceremony, while I was reciting the precepts and vows, it hit me that becoming a buddha is now an official personal commitment that I am establishing within the foundation of my being. I really love the four great vows and how they are arranged. I think reciting them in the ceremony solidified the foremost importance of helping other sentient beings as well as letting go of self-centeredness. I also created my own personal big vow for this lifetime related to my career which is: to make high-quality healthcare accessible to all human beings.

After the ceremony, when I was wearing the pendant lying directly on my heart, I felt a sense of grounding that was like a tree gaining awareness of its deepest roots. Whatever passing sensations, thoughts, or emotions were just like the waves on the surface of the ocean.

What a joyful and meaningful experience ❤️
 

I want to say thank you so so much for all your support in making this experience possible for me. It is truly something I will deeply cherish and will be the foundation for the rest of my life. From responding to my first email, to making the internal arrangements for me to come, to coordinating your friends to host me, to being a constant source of support and encouragement while I am here, it means the world to me and I can't thank you enough.