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Have you prepared your spiritual provisions for a lone journey toward death?

When we are born into this world, we come alone; and when our time is due, we die alone. The difference lies in the responsibilities we have fulfilled and the value we have created during our lifetime. When our life reaches its end, we can still let go in a positive and wholesome way, without regrets. By arranging what needs to be done in advance, such as making an advance health care directive, preparing a will, and establishing ourselves in our faith, we will be able to take care of ourselves even at the end of life. As we walk the last mile of our life with decency and dignity, what is there to fear about dying alone?
Photo credit: Zhou Yu-shiun (周玉勳)

Original Chinese text / Ven. Yan Xiao (演曉法師)
 
Chizuko Ueno (上野千鶴子), a Japanese sociologist, has predicted that Japanese society is heading towards an era of solitary death. She has visited end-of-life scenes in people's homes and raised the question, "How should a lone person prepare themselves for death?" Ueno further claimed that the term "solitary death" (kodokushi, 孤独死) no longer exclusively refers to elderly individuals living alone. In an era of increasingly weakened family bonds, anyone—married or not, with or without children, living in severe social withdrawal, or residing with children and grandchildren—will inevitably face the prospect of "dying alone."
 
NHK of Japan produced a documentary on "Solitary Deaths," reporting the social difficulties faced by those who die alone and remain undiscovered for days. The program also introduced the concept of "Muenshakai" (無縁社会), suggesting that people die alone mainly because they have lost their interpersonal connections based on blood relations, geographic proximity, and social ties.
 
Not only in Japan, but the phenomenon of "solitary death" also plays out in every society, potentially triggering our fear of death. However, birth, aging, sickness, and death are personal matters that even the closest family members, such as father and son, cannot undertake on behalf of one another. Therefore, facing death is a lesson that everyone needs to learn and prepare for. By planning and preparing in advance, we can ensure that even if we die alone one day, we can still walk the last mile of life with decency and dignity.
 
 
Establish a Perspective on Life and Death to Face the End of Life without Loneliness
 
People generally avoid talking about death out of fear. Confucianism's rhetorical question, "How can one understand death without understanding life?" underscores its emphasis on secular life rather than life after death. A famous Chinese poem remarks, "Being parted by life and death without knowing each other on the other side," which suggests that people often view death as something horrifying. Since 2014, Guo Huei-jiuan (郭慧娟), the hostess of the Death Café in Taiwan, has organized hundreds of seminars across Taiwan with more than ten thousand participants to facilitate conversations about death. She found that common concerns about dying include "dying alone at home without anyone noticing," "not knowing how to prepare for death," "not having family members around at the end of life," and "being forced to undergo unnecessary life-sustaining treatments to prolong life."
 
These worries arise mainly because people have not faced up to this matter (openness), thought it through (autonomy), stated it clearly (advance directives), and prepared properly (arrangements). In fact, we can minimize our worries by preparing ourselves psychologically and practically.
 
Master Sheng Yen once said, "When falling ill, let the doctor take care of your illness, and let the Buddha and Bodhisattva (or your religion) take care of your life. In doing so, you become a carefree, healthy person." This "carefree, healthy person" is healthy not only physically, but also psychologically. While we leave physiological treatment to medical experts, for psychological treatment, we need religious beliefs or to establish a wholesome perspective on life.
 
By establishing religious beliefs, one can be certain that they will head to a better future after death. Such beliefs give people hope and strength. Ven. Chang Jer (常哲法師) frequently visits hospital wards and funerals. When he encounters people who are terrified on their deathbeds because they have no religious beliefs as spiritual sustenance, he introduces the Pure Land practice to let the dying know that there is a peaceful and joyful place to take refuge after death. Meanwhile, he encourages the dying to focus their thoughts by reciting the Buddha's name, helping to divert their attention from their illness and dissipate their loneliness and fear. In this way, the dying are often able to finish their last journey in peace. As Ven. Chang Jer pointed out, "Having faith in religious beliefs not only brings peace to the dying but also comfort to their family."
 
Dr. Chang Ming-chih (張明志), a hematologist at Mackay Memorial Hospital, also uses the power of religion to help and calm terminally ill patients with delirium (mental disturbances). He encourages patients not only to express gratitude and love while bidding farewell to their loved ones, but also to apologize to each other. By forgiving ourselves and others before we die, we can be at peace with ourselves and others, thus enabling us to depart smoothly and without obstacles.

Photo credit: Liao Shun-de (廖順得)
 
Cultivate a Habit of Spiritual Practice and Accumulate Positive Affinities
 
As depicted in Sutra 1023 of the Saṃyukta-āgama, Venerable Phagguna of the Buddha's time was gravely ill, and his days were numbered. The Buddha imparted the Dharma to him through teachings, instructions, and encouragement, which made him rejoice. Shortly after the Buddha's departure, Phagguna passed away. At the time of his death, "his faculties indicated that he passed away in joy, his appearance was clean and clear, and his skin was bright and fair."
 
In the sutra, the Buddha mentioned the benefits of being free from all kinds of vexations by listening to the Dharma through the following three sources at the end of life: 
(1) hearing the teachings of masters; 
(2) hearing the Dharma talk of erudite practitioners or those who cultivate pure practices (brahmacaryā); 
(3) contemplating and observing the teachings that one has practiced and learned in one's lifetime. 
 
At the end of our life, there might not be virtuous friends (kalyana-mitra) coming to impart teachings to us, but we can still be our own virtuous friend. Therefore, the most important thing is to make it a habit to cultivate our spirituality while our body and mind are still well-functioning so that we do not need to rely on others.
 
In addition, as Ven. Chang Jer advises, it is better to start preparing for our own death by making an advance health care directive and a will. By doing so, we can preserve our quality of life during illness, have better control over medical treatment in end-of-life situations, and minimize our burdens.
 
In addition to personal preparation for a peaceful death, Ven. Hui Min (惠敏法師), Former Principal of Dharma Drum Institute of Liberal Arts (DILA), believes that it is also important to establish good interpersonal relationships in social communities to create social support. This can be achieved by cultivating hobbies, engaging in community services, traveling, and exercising. Through "dedication" and "self-reliance," we can attain real spiritual abundance. Even in a bedridden state, well-developed interpersonal networks can provide essential support.
 
 
Accompanied by Blessings and Wisdom, Bidding Farewell without Regret
 
Former Vice President Prof. Aming Tu (杜正民) of DILA, who passed away on November 27, 2016, was diagnosed with cancer and hospitalized for treatment. During that time, he suffered from excruciating pain resulting from a tumor. He thus turned to the Buddhist scriptures for answers, trying to understand what the Buddha taught his disciples about coping with painful illness and death. Making himself a subject of study, Prof. Tu observed his own illness, kept records, and watched the changes in the data. He contemplated life and death while experiencing Buddhadharma in the midst of his illness. Living with the mindset of "treating every day as the last day of my life," he calmly faced death at ease despite physical pain.
 
Prof. Tu's wife, Chang Hsueh-ching (張雪卿), witnessed her husband facing his illness and death with calmness and steadfastness. After Tu's death, Chang, who lived alone, dedicated herself to practicing Buddhist teachings. Today, she volunteers in the community and at monasteries. Additionally, she has entrusted important matters to her daughter in advance. Now, as she lives and contributes in Dharma joy every day, she is free of anxiety about facing death on her own.
 
Cincia, a young cancer patient who had been fighting cancer since 2012, was prompted by her illness to change her lifestyle completely. Like a wake-up call, the disease reminded her that the human lifespan finite and shouldn't be squandered. She also became more appreciative of what she had. Being assigned as a torchbearer for the 2021 Tokyo Olympics, she made a bucket list of items to fulfill one by one while she was physically able to do so, so that she could leave life with no regrets.
 
From life to death, one ultimately arrives and leaves the world alone. Atul Gawande, a professor of surgery at Harvard Medical School, says, "Our ultimate goal, after all, is not a good death but a good life to the very end with dignity." Death is a natural phenomenon. We should change our perspective on death and proactively plan our lives ahead. This means incorporating death into our "life plan," thereby making the cultivation of spirituality a habit, and establishing adequate social support so we can care for ourselves at the end of life.
 
Before starting the journey after life, we should check our provisions of blessings and wisdom in this life that travel with us. In so doing, we ensure that there will be no regrets and no fear when we embark on our next journey.


 
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Resource: Issue 452 of Humanity Magazine (April 2021), Dharma Drum Publishing Corporation
Translation: Li Siang-ling
Editing: Keith Brown, Ven. Yan Siang (演香法師)