Unconstrained by illness, the mind remains at ease

Shifting from a fast-paced life to a slower rhythm, and from an energetic, passionate nature to one of serenity and ease— through the "lesson" of undergoing dialysis, Venerable Guo Chang (Nung Chan Monastery Course and Activity Group) has learned humility toward the body and the cultivation of a gentle, flexible mind. Today, she lives with her illness in a state of health and peace of mind.

■ Venerable Guo Xian (釋果賢)

"One must not let illness impose limits. As long as we accept the physical ailment and learn to treat the body with humility, we can better overcome the discomfort of illness and the various inconveniences associated with medical treatment, allowing us to participate with ease in activities such as seven-day Chan retreats, outdoor Chan practice, and the summer retreat." Venerable Guo Chang, who has required long-term dialysis, speaks of her illness and life with a resolute attitude and profound gratitude: "Illness has enabled me to see my own nature and habitual tendencies more clearly, allowing me to make adjustments and changes—and for that, I am most grateful."

Finding Joy in Monastic Dedication

Over thirty years ago, Venerable Guo Chang—who was then working as a substitute elementary school teacher—visited Nung Chan Monastery. Upon arrival, she felt an immediate sense of familiarity, as if returning home. She deeply resonated with Master Sheng Yen’s spirit of upholding the Bodhisattva Path—specifically the mission to propagate the Dharma and serve society. She began by working full-time for the monastery’s Buddha-recitation group. Through listening to the Dharma and engaging in dedicated service, she discovered a clear direction for her life. Four years later, she decided to become a nun and dedicate her life to the Three Jewels.

As Dharma Drum Mountain was founded and constructed, and Master Sheng Yen’s mission to propagate the Dharma expanded, every monastic at Nung Chan Monastery took on multiple responsibilities—and Venerable Guo Chang was no exception. Although often exhausted, she found that period to be one of her most joyful times, as she "deeply experienced the truth of the Master’s words: 'Be busy but happy; tired, but joyful.'"

Later, the Venerable participated in various initiatives—such as the Dharma Drum Mountain Buddha statue project, the Lotus Bell project, and the consecration rituals involving the transcription of sutras for placement inside Buddha statues—all of which entailed considerable pressure. Kidney abnormalities had already been detected; subsequently, during a trip to mainland China, she contracted an infection that led to extrapulmonary tuberculosis. This condition compromised her kidney function, eventually necessitating dialysis.

Facing the prospect of dialysis—a treatment that might be required for the rest of her life—would be a profound challenge for anyone. Yet, she recalled the Master’s words: "Entrust your illness to the doctor and your life to the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas; then, you are a person at peace, unburdened by worry." Guided by these teachings, Venerable Guo Chang faced and accepted the situation with equanimity.

When news of the illness spread, the first thing the Venerable had to face was the outpouring of concern from fellow monastics and the lay community. Whether their inquiries stemmed from curiosity, doubt, or bewilderment, she initially found herself patiently and repeatedly responding—much like an answering machine. Later, she realized that, in the face of such varied expressions of concern, she needed to transform her own state of mind. That is, she had to remain unswayed by others' words or attitudes while recognizing the heartfelt blessings each person offered.

This experience taught the Venerable that what the sick truly need are blessings. Consequently, whenever she visited the ill thereafter, instead of asking about their medical condition, she would offer them joy, blessings, and encouragement.

Peritoneal Dialysis as a Daily Practice

Once a lively and active person, she now undergoes peritoneal dialysis four times a day. The Venerable describes these four sessions as her "fixed practice"—a time requiring her to sit calmly, follow the procedural steps, and handle everything with meticulous care. Any carelessness can lead to infection, which carries dire consequences. Each session lasts about half an hour, and whether she spends the time chanting the Buddha’s name, reciting sutras, or counting the breath, these moments have become the most serene part of her day.

Furthermore, the dietary restrictions necessitated by dialysis—such as limits on daily fluid and food intake—become a new practice in life. Even when faced with tempting foods, she has to exercise restraint to avoid physical repercussions. Yet, the Venerable views these limitations as a form of upholding precepts—a means of protection rather than mere restriction.

Beyond the physical and dietary changes, watching her fellow monastics continue their busy routines while she was compelled to slow down and adapt to the pace of illness—unable to keep up with the group—inevitably brought a sense of loss. Nevertheless, her positive and cheerful spirit helped her gradually forge a new path forward.

Venerable Guo Can, the monastery administrator at the time, invited Venerable Guo Chang to take charge of the curriculum department. From planning courses on Chan arts, recruiting instructors, and enrolling students to taking care of them, Venerable Guo Chang navigated these responsibilities with ease. In doing so, she not only facilitated the learning and growth of the lay community but also opened up new horizons for heself. One such example is calligraphy, where she gained profound personal insights into the art and eventually went on to teach "Calligraphy Chan" at the Sangha University.

For Venerable Guo Chang, the Chan practice of calligraphy lies not in technical mastery, but in the act of writing itself—a means to quiet the mind, find inner peace, and heighten awareness. She guides students to realize that calligraphy, spiritual practice, and life are one and the same. As long as one is mindful and precise with every stroke—from the initial touch of the brush to its final lift—the result is the finest calligraphy. Even while battling illness, Venerable Guo Chang always greeted students with a beaming smile, patient guidance, and warm heartfelt care. Deeply moved, the students often remarked that her class was one filled with genuine warmth.

This warmth also resonated powerfully within the "Evergreen Class" for seniors. Addressing a group of nearly two hundred elderly participants, Venerable Guo Chang’s "Vitality Lectures" radiated joy, optimism, and positivity, instilling immense strength in the audience. When discussing topics such as aging, physical decline, and illness, she shared her own living experiences, allowing everyone present to deeply grasp the wisdom of Master Sheng Yen’s teaching: "Face illness with a healthy mind, and embrace old age with hope."

Cherishing the Hard-Won Opportunity for Group Practice

Venerable Guo Chang deeply cherishes the opportunity to engage in group practice with the monastic community, never missing events such as Chan retreats or the monastic summer retreat. However, participating in these activities entails a significant logistical undertaking, as she must transport dialysis fluids and medical supplies. People around her often said, "It’s too much trouble. You really shouldn't go," and such comments indeed made her hesitate. Yet, recognizing that every opportunity for group practice is hard-won, she refuses to let her body or illness limit her—she consistently overcomes these many challenges, moving forward with a spirit of ease.

For instance, the past June—following the three-year pandemic—monastics returned to the Dharma Drum Mountain Chan hall for the summer retreat, with nearly two hundred people living together. Because the Venerable required dialysis, she was accommodated in the female monastic’s quarters.  Regardless of whether it was raining or sunny, she made the round trip between the quarters and the Chan hall three times a day. During breaks, one could occasionally spot her walking at a slow yet composed pace, revealing a heart that was both steadfast and joyful. She remarked that, as she walked into the Chan hall under her umbrella, she felt she had "gained" yet another session of practice. Over the course of that month, her walking back and forth became a beautiful sight in the summer retreat.

Initially, Venerable Guo Chang worried that her illness would burden the monastic community. However, she gradually came to realize—as her teacher had said—that illness serves as a profound teaching: the sick provide an opportunity for others to cultivate a spirit of service and dedication. Through mutual care, they deepen their concern for one another and learn the art of letting go amidst life's various circumstances.

Learning from the Master’s Personal Example

Having undergone dialysis since August 2006—spanning seventeen years—Venerable Guo Chang is deeply grateful for her time in the monastic community, which has allowed her to grow alongside her fellow monastics. She observes, "Relying on the collective strength of the community prevents complacency and is safest and most reliable." At the same time, she uses the Dharma concepts of causes and conditions as well as cause and effect to cultivate and settle her mind. During a recent bout of peritonitis, she faced the threat of death while being transported to the hospital. Still, she aspired to embody the spirit of Master Sheng Yen: "Never fear death, never wait for death, and never seek death; thereby one can live freely and healthily." Maintaining a healthy mind despite physical illness, and remaining free from mental suffering despite physical pain, has long been a guiding principle for Venerable Guo Chang—both for her own practice and in encouraging others.

In the book A Wonderful Life in My Late Years, Venerable Guo Chang expresses deep admiration for Master Sheng Yen. Even while undergoing dialysis three times a week due to illness, the Master maintained his regular schedule of receiving guests, delivering lectures, and attending meetings. During times free from official duties, he practiced calligraphy and transcribed sutras, leaving behind hundreds of masterpieces. The image of the Master remains deeply imprinted in Venerable Guo Chang’s heart:

"I am very busy, yet I can always find the time
to complete the work that needs to be done.
I am often ill, yet I can always adjust my body and mind,
living as though I were healthy."

"This was Master Sheng Yen’s attitude toward life and illness, and it is the goal I strive to emulate in this lifetime," Venerable Guo Chang said.


Related articles: 

Finding Health and Peace in Illness

Wisdom in Illness

Buddha Teaches Us How to Care for the Sick: Five Practices for Tending to the Sick

Unconstrained by illness, the mind remains at ease

Receiving Karmic Results, Fulfilling Vows, and Vowing Anew

Illness: Guiding the Direction of Your Life


Resource: Issue 481 of Humanity Magazine, Dharma Drum Publishing Corporation
Photo: Venerable Chang Duo (常鐸法師)
Translation: Christina
Editing: Venerable Yan Hsiang (演香法師), Keith Brown